you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
