ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just pee around me
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
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