So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
