What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
