So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So here I am, sexting at work.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
