why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize