he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I need water and some morals
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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