Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
