Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
