Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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