Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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