Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
