Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
