omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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