You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
