throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
