Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
