Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
