I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
