all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
