the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
