Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
where am i from again
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
