we have officially lost it.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it hurts more in the daytime
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
