so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
