She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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