just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
FUCK WHALES
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
