My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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