I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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