so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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