Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
