i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
