Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
