Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
