I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was like getting head from an anaconda
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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