I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
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