he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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