READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
