i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
