This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
