Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
