do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
