EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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