Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you made out with another girl for some wings
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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