rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
