you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
