My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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