Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
