She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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