I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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