We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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